Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
