At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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