she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
