I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
MIDGETS
????
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
