She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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