go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
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It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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