I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
