dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.