I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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