The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize