drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
