Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
