don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
