yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
