It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize