you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
