alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize