sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
