Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
