I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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