I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
