Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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