he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i drank out of a bidet.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
