maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
