and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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