I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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