are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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