Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
