Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
