yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
