Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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