Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
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Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
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There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.