So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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