I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
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She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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