You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
