We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
