just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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