If i come over, it means nothing
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
