she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
