I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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