the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
