I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
