Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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