Barsexuality is the new black.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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