In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
