Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
