had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
