Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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