last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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