So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
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almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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