There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
