Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
