i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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