mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
