i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
