she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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