i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize