no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize