theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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