hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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