i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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